8th February 2019

After the disappointment of missing out on Nuku Hiva, everyone on board was eager to set foot on terra firma. Much of the talk revolved around what people planned to do once we finally docked, if we docked.

For once, we weren’t arriving at breakfast time. This was a full day of cruising, culminating in the excitement of a sunset arrival. As we approached Tahiti, we passed its smaller sister island, Moorea, just a few miles from Papeete, the capital. In my youth, Tahiti was a name that conjured up visions of the exotic, a distant paradise. At first sight, Moorea certainly lived up to such expectations, its jagged peaks thrusting dramatically from sea level to dizzying heights. Though Tahiti boasts a higher topography, its sister island undoubtedly steals the show for its sheer wow factor.

We eased into a very convenient berth close to the capital, directly opposite a strikingly elegant vessel, the Wind Spirit. This ultra-modern ship, with its three automatic sails and beautiful lines, was a sight to behold. I take my hat off to whoever designed this beauty.

By the time we had completed mooring and, I assume, the necessary paperwork, most passengers, ourselves included, had taken an early evening meal and were eager to sample the delights of those alluring twinkling lights visible from our perch high up in the restaurant. We joined a long line that wound down the gangway, along the quay, and into the bustling traffic of Papeete. It was sweltering.

Like many others, we quickly discovered a McDonald’s, only to be disappointed that the expected free WiFi didn’t exist there (memo to Ronald). It is an unwritten rule among seasoned cruisers to seek out free WiFi in every port, and this fast-food chain is usually a reliable bet. Undeterred, Sue and I set off to immerse ourselves in Tahitian nightlife. But while the streets were as lively as a Saturday night on Oxford Street, the shops were shut. Only the bars and restaurants remained open.

We stumbled upon the pretty yellow Catholic Cathedral and were pleasantly surprised to find its interior refreshingly simple, no overwhelming gold leaf, just a quiet, unembellished space. A few ‘down and outs’ lay fast asleep on the pews, a stark reminder of the island’s struggles. With unemployment at 25%, we would later see many more sleeping in doorways.

The Columbus had spilt enough of its human cargo to fill the local bars to bursting, and we joined the crowd at a spot across the busy road from the Wind Spirit, which, illuminated like a fairy-tale castle, was a sight to behold. The WiFi was a welcome bonus, and Sue took the opportunity to chat with Sarah and Charlotte on Messenger. It was here that we had our first real introduction to the cost of Tahiti; three drinks set us back $25. No wonder the island only attracts 200,000 visitors a year, compared to the Cook Islands’ one million. Apparently, the latter is much cheaper.

The following morning, we had an organised excursion, a fortunate choice, as it meant avoiding the worst of the day’s heat. Our West Coast Tour took us around the drier half of the island, which receives a relatively modest 1,500 cm of annual rainfall. In contrast, the other side is deluged with a staggering 8 metres, yes, metres!, of rain each year. This explains the deep ravines carving through that coast and the complete absence of coral reefs, as the freshwater runoff dilutes the surrounding sea. Coral, it turns out, despises fresh water.

There is really only one proper road on the island, tracing the coastline, while smaller roads branch off like spokes on a wheel into the rugged interior. With 90% of the population living along this coastal route, most clustered near Papeete, it’s the island’s main artery.

Our journey took us west, with the first stop at a series of caverns, once volcanic tunnels, now filled with water. They were a striking sight, lush with vegetation and blissfully cool inside, offering a refreshing break from the heat.

Next, we visited a stunning tropical garden, a paradise of greenery and water features. The plants here were immense, their oversized leaves and blooms bursting with vibrant colour. It was a place where nature seemed to thrive unchecked, creating a scene straight out of a botanical dream.

We made a brief photo stop at one of the coral lagoons, a popular spot for surfers. The shimmering water was incredibly inviting, and I would have loved to cool off with a swim. But that’s the drawback of an organised tour, the schedule isn’t entirely your own.

Our final stop before returning to Columbus was at one of the island’s better-preserved Marae. These ancient ceremonial platforms fell into disuse with the arrival of Christianity, but they once played a central role in Polynesian culture, including, rather grimly, cannibalistic rituals.

Not far from here, the French painter Paul Gauguin lived during his time in Tahiti. Though his house has long since vanished, his legacy remains, not only in the more than 70 canvases he painted but also in the local genealogy. It’s said that many Tahitians today can trace their ancestry back to him, a testament to his rather enthusiastic immersion in island life.

After returning to the ship, we enjoyed a late lunch before setting out once more to explore the city. The heat was intense, so we naturally gravitated toward the shaded side of the streets.

The local market was a lively and colourful place, packed with fellow cruisers, many of whom were busy selecting souvenirs to commemorate their visit to this Polynesian island.

We rounded off the afternoon with a leisurely stroll through the gardens along the harbour. Seeking a brief respite from the heat, I stepped onto a small stretch of sand and rocky beach, dipping my feet into the cool water, an instantly refreshing relief.

We were eager to be back on board by 5 p.m. to catch a performance by a Tahitian dance troupe, and what a show it turned out to be! It was a mesmerising display of colour, energy, and expression, seductive, high-spirited, and utterly brilliant. Had they performed twice, I would have gladly watched both shows. If a private performance had been an option at a reasonable price, I might have considered it, but then again, this is Tahiti, where nothing comes cheap.

We set sail at 8 p.m., bound for our next destination, Bora Bora.

So, what do I think of Tahiti? They call it paradise, but in my opinion, a few adjustments are needed to earn that title. For starters, the locals could consider driving on the opposite side of the road and speaking English. A five-degree drop in temperature and a lot less rain wouldn’t hurt either. That said, there’s no shortage of contenders for paradise in my experience.

The people are warm and welcoming (with remarkably little crime), and as for the women, well, they can certainly make those grass skirts dance. I think I’ve just settled on Sue’s Christmas present for next year!